WHO WE ARE
Welcome to Nossing. We’re not glad you’re here.
It means you’re looking at a screen. What’s your problem?
You could be out hang gliding. Or bungee jumping.
Or bungee gliding. There, we just created a new thing for you to try.
And it doesn’t involve staring at a screen.
It involves Staring Down Death!!
So get out there.
Put on some cargo shorts.
And go fjord that glacier.
We don’t even know what that means. But it sounds adventurous.
WHY
There’s a dirty little secret your devices have yet to tell you: a recent joint study by the American Medical Association (AMA), the Stanford Design Lab (SDL), and in conjunction with the British General Medical Council (BGMC) is about to be released. They (AMASDLBGMC) spent the last decade studying the effect modern devices have upon our brains. And here is what they discovered: there is a “tipping point” that once it is crossed our brains have an impossible time returning back or recovering from. What the researchers found was that after 25,000 hours you cannot get back to point zero. The brain damage is irreversible. But you are still conscious, creative and able to string together solid thoughts. But here’s the really scary information that has yet to be released to the public: once you hit 50,000 hours of usage your brain slows considerably. At 75,000 hours the frontal cortex begins a process of freezing. And at 100,000 hours you are at full-on brain freeze. So you become capable of thoughts on the level of a dopey golden retriever. The plus side is that you become very good a fetching things. The negative is that you cannot solve 2+2, play poker, or ride a bicycle. You have been turned into a vegetable: a mushy bowl of warm cauliflower for brains.
So we must lessen our device usage or we’ll all be dead before we hit fifty years old!
OUR VALUES
- A Cool Breeze
- Sunshine On Our Cheeks (both kinds)
- Authenticity
- Illicit (& Nonillicit) Drug Use
- Proper Grammar
- Sensitivity
- Eat, Sleep & Breath Adventure
- Naps
FOUNDER’S TALE
There’s a whole generation weaned on the digital teat. When I visit my grandfather he’s out behind his cabin in the dead of winter bare barrel chested choppin’ wood with his bare hands, no blade required. Anytime I go see my dad he needs help figuring out why his Wifi keeps going out but his password to connect is seventeen characters long made up of letters, numbers, symbols, and an umlaut. I am a pretty good techie: I can surf the interwebs with the best of them. I enjoy all these newfangled Apps, the occasional binge watch, and I’ll sometimes post some cool stuff on the old Facebooks or Twitterama or Instagramia. I’m no tech newbie. I’ve been around the block. I’ve seen things, fools.
But my son is a different story. He can have six simultaneous screens firing as he plays Fortnite, writes code for his new 3D printer, FaceTimes with his cousin in New Zealand, teaches himself how to play poker via a YouTube tutorial, sells his vast sneaker collection on Ebay, and god only knows what he’s doing on the dark web because his dad doesn’t even know how to access it.
According to my calculations – 8 hours a day of screen time 365 days a year – he’s already blown past the 25,000 hour mark and is well on his way to the 50,000 device time hours before he can legally drive an automobile and the endgame of 100,000 before he can legally drink a beer! And when that happens, as the scientists warn us, he’ll then look like this:
So let’s be clear: this isn’t about me. I don’t give two nanobites about the tech revolution. I could live happy as a clam in an estuary and just nap all day. I remember the days when phones had long twisty cords that would wrap around you and came in handy when you needed to quickly strangle your sister for phone usage seniority. I recall visiting the library and it taking two hours just to locate the correct book to learn about the many practical uses of a medieval battle axe. And that dial up modem sound back when we all used AOL is forever imprinted on my brain. But the time’s they aren’t a changin’, they’ve changed, and there’s no going back.
So nossing might factor in some nostalgia. And we might sometimes come off as big meanies. That’s fine, I’m okay with you all thinking I’m annoying, as long as it keeps you from getting to that 100,000 hour mark, you can thank me later.
Nossing is designed to help you cut the digital drug down into manageable nourishable bites.
For all those out there who think I’m an alarmist, here’s what you’re gonna have to look forward to: an entire generation (and eventually world) who share the creative & social skills of this:
That’s right, a cauliflower head. You’ve been warned.
– The Founder
Nossing 